Other than when I was born, I had never stayed in a hospital before so I wasn't sure what to expect. Luckily I had great nurses, an ok room, and decent food. It was much better than all the horror stories I've heard about how awful the hospital is. I did have to share a room but it was ok. The other lady also had a baby on the 2nd and he was in the NICU as well. (I'm assuming they had us together on purpose.) John had to leave at 9 pm so I was on my own. The first night I was woken up every couple of hours for meds, blood pressure, IV checks, belly checks, etc. I didn't get a good stretch of continuous sleep but I slept like a rock in between! I was both physically and emotionally exhausted.
My room
A breakfast and a dinner
I wasn't really in a whole lot of pain except for I'd get a bit crampy when my Motrin was wearing off. It was totally manageable though. Dr. Agnelli had left orders to give me Vicodin if I wanted it, but it was completely unnecessary. When Dr. Agnelli came to see me Saturday morning she told me to expect to be really sore all over ... even in places I wouldn't be expecting. She said I had been working muscles all over when I was pushing and they probably weren't too happy about it. She was right! I was achy everywhere and it hurt to move. Luckily it mostly cleared up by Sunday. Dr. Agnelli had been over to see Landen before she came to see me. She was surprised at everything that had happened with him after she left Friday evening. She said Landen looked ok though and told me not to worry too much about him. She also told me to be ready for an emotional roller coaster. Between my hormones, exhaustion, and the stress of having a baby in the NICU I was bound to cry at the drop of a hat and have absolutely no control over it. Once again, she was totally right!! I would tear up when I was happy, sob when I was sad, and randomly shed a tear or two in between just because. John was really good about comforting me and being understanding. Luckily it only lasted about 2 weeks and I didn't develop postpartum depression. I've had to process through a lot of emotions connected to going into labor early. I've felt guilty that maybe I really did do something that caused it. I had to mourn the loss of not getting to spend that last month with Landen and deal with feeling cheated out of our time together. And all at the same time manage the stress of having a baby in the NICU. People have told me that I'm "lucky" I didn't have to go through the final month of pregnancy and get uncomfortable and get (more) stretchmarks. I understand where they are coming from, but I definitely don't feel "lucky". I would gladly have taken any of those things and more if it meant my pregnancy could go full term and Landen didn't have to spend time in the NICU. Having a premature baby is hard. I don't think anyone can truly understand it without going through it themselves. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I feel blessed that I was able to last 35 weeks and that Landen did so well, because I know that that's not always the case.
Anyways, back to the hospital stay .... John and I spent Saturday and Sunday visiting Landen, taking catnaps, watching TV, and visiting with our family as they came and went. I received 2 beautiful flower arrangements that brightened up my room.
Bobby, Renee, and Deanna came to visit and Bobby got restless while we were chit chatting. He got up and starting poking around the room. He eventually created this:
John's sunglasses were trapped inside. Bobby cracks me up. He's always building something!
When Dr. Agnelli checked on me Sunday morning we decided that even though I really really really didn't want to leave the hospital without Landen, there was really no medical reason for me to stay another night. I was bouncing back from labor like a champ! The nurses said I was an easy patient because I didn't ask for anything or need any help. They kept coming in and offering me things because they felt bad about not really being able to do anything. :) Even though Dr. Agnelli put in my discharge orders in the morning, the nurse said I could stay all day up until the shift change at 7:00. That evening after visiting Landen I changed clothes, packed up, and got my whooping cough vaccine and discharge instructions. It was time for me to go home.
I did pretty well until we were out in the parking lot and I looked back at the hospital thinking that Landen was still in there. Then the floodgates opened and there was no turning back. I cried and cried and cried the whole way home ... and then cried some more. It was horrible leaving our baby there. In my head I knew he was where he needed to be and was being well cared for, but my heart just couldn't deal. Seeing Nala helped a little bit. She was so happy to see us! That night John and I had a little champagne toast to our new family and planned to have another one when we were all home together.
I had survived my first real hospital stay and it wasn't bad at all. Thank goodness!
My room
A breakfast and a dinner
I wasn't really in a whole lot of pain except for I'd get a bit crampy when my Motrin was wearing off. It was totally manageable though. Dr. Agnelli had left orders to give me Vicodin if I wanted it, but it was completely unnecessary. When Dr. Agnelli came to see me Saturday morning she told me to expect to be really sore all over ... even in places I wouldn't be expecting. She said I had been working muscles all over when I was pushing and they probably weren't too happy about it. She was right! I was achy everywhere and it hurt to move. Luckily it mostly cleared up by Sunday. Dr. Agnelli had been over to see Landen before she came to see me. She was surprised at everything that had happened with him after she left Friday evening. She said Landen looked ok though and told me not to worry too much about him. She also told me to be ready for an emotional roller coaster. Between my hormones, exhaustion, and the stress of having a baby in the NICU I was bound to cry at the drop of a hat and have absolutely no control over it. Once again, she was totally right!! I would tear up when I was happy, sob when I was sad, and randomly shed a tear or two in between just because. John was really good about comforting me and being understanding. Luckily it only lasted about 2 weeks and I didn't develop postpartum depression. I've had to process through a lot of emotions connected to going into labor early. I've felt guilty that maybe I really did do something that caused it. I had to mourn the loss of not getting to spend that last month with Landen and deal with feeling cheated out of our time together. And all at the same time manage the stress of having a baby in the NICU. People have told me that I'm "lucky" I didn't have to go through the final month of pregnancy and get uncomfortable and get (more) stretchmarks. I understand where they are coming from, but I definitely don't feel "lucky". I would gladly have taken any of those things and more if it meant my pregnancy could go full term and Landen didn't have to spend time in the NICU. Having a premature baby is hard. I don't think anyone can truly understand it without going through it themselves. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I feel blessed that I was able to last 35 weeks and that Landen did so well, because I know that that's not always the case.
Anyways, back to the hospital stay .... John and I spent Saturday and Sunday visiting Landen, taking catnaps, watching TV, and visiting with our family as they came and went. I received 2 beautiful flower arrangements that brightened up my room.
Bobby, Renee, and Deanna came to visit and Bobby got restless while we were chit chatting. He got up and starting poking around the room. He eventually created this:
John's sunglasses were trapped inside. Bobby cracks me up. He's always building something!
When Dr. Agnelli checked on me Sunday morning we decided that even though I really really really didn't want to leave the hospital without Landen, there was really no medical reason for me to stay another night. I was bouncing back from labor like a champ! The nurses said I was an easy patient because I didn't ask for anything or need any help. They kept coming in and offering me things because they felt bad about not really being able to do anything. :) Even though Dr. Agnelli put in my discharge orders in the morning, the nurse said I could stay all day up until the shift change at 7:00. That evening after visiting Landen I changed clothes, packed up, and got my whooping cough vaccine and discharge instructions. It was time for me to go home.
I did pretty well until we were out in the parking lot and I looked back at the hospital thinking that Landen was still in there. Then the floodgates opened and there was no turning back. I cried and cried and cried the whole way home ... and then cried some more. It was horrible leaving our baby there. In my head I knew he was where he needed to be and was being well cared for, but my heart just couldn't deal. Seeing Nala helped a little bit. She was so happy to see us! That night John and I had a little champagne toast to our new family and planned to have another one when we were all home together.
I had survived my first real hospital stay and it wasn't bad at all. Thank goodness!
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