Once I got settled in my postpartum room and my new nurse checked me out, John and I wanted to go see Landen. We were told that we could go any time of the day except when the nurses changes shifts between 6:30 and 7:30. My nurse wanted me to go over to the NICU in a wheelchair but I felt pretty good, so I walked. I was tired when we got back but doing ok. When we got over there we were given instructions on how to wash up before entering the NICU nurseries - you basically scrub up to your elbows like a surgeon does before surgery. Someone showed us back to where Landen was. As we walked past other isolettes we could see a lot of tiny tiny tiny babies. That's the size I feared Landen would be. I felt so grateful that he was bigger.
When we walked up, there were a bunch of people surrounding his little area. Heather, his nurse, introduced herself to us and started to explain what was going on. She didn't get very far because as soon as we really saw him we could see he was in bad shape and I immediately burst into tears. I tried to get myself together but it was hard. He was having a very hard time breathing. Every time he inhaled, his chest would retract and completely cave in. He was struggling with every single breath. He looked like a fish trying to breathe out of water. It was both terrifying and heartbreaking. Even John teared up and started to cry a little. Heather was great and took her time explaining some of what was going on as well as giving us some info about how things worked in the NICU.
A few minutes later, Landen's neonatologist Dr. Kuniyoshi came over and talked with us. She explained that there is a protein called surfactant that we all have that helps keep the aveoli in our lungs open. Without this, our lungs can't get enough oxygen to the rest of our body. Because Landen's lungs were premature (even more premature than they should have been at 35 weeks), they weren't producing the surfactant his lungs needed. Luckily some very smart people figured out a way to create synthetic surfactant. Dr. Kuniyoshi said that they were going to briefly intubate Landen and then inject surfactant into his lungs. She said that this would help him to breath easier but to be prepared that it may take several treatments before his lungs kick in and start making surfactact on their own.
They were just getting ready to do the procedure when we walked in - that's why there were various people in his area. Dr. Lee came over and talked to us for a minute. We were trying to keep our emotions in check but it was hard. We were scared and seeing Landen so helpless and struggling was like a physical blow to the heart. After a few more minutes we told the doctors we were going to leave so they could do the procedure. It was getting late and it had been a very long day, so we told them we'd be back in the morning to see him.
When we went to see him Saturday morning, Landen looked much better. His chest wasn't caving in nearly as much as it had been the night before. They had placed a CPAP over his nose to pressurize the air going into his lungs. This helped to fill them completely with oxygen. Seeing him hooked up to a bunch of machines and monitors was at little scary but we were so relieved to see that he had improved. We were able to open up the sides of the isolette and touch him and talk to him. I was an emotional mess so I had tears running down my cheeks but I was so happy! We were able to bring our parents back to see him one at a time.
Landen wasn't overly fond of the CPAP strapped on his head. He was still pretty swollen from birth. The tube going into his mouth was used to suction any saliva going down into his tummy. Since he was being fed intravenously they said that the saliva in his empty tummy might give him a stomach ache.
Here's some video of Landen breathing with the CPAP. You can see his chest is still depressing some when he inhales but it's nothing compared to what it had been the night before.
Landen's nurse Kristen gave him this lovey to hold on to because he always managed to grab onto his tube/wires and pull!
Strong grip on John's finger!!
Hi Lolo!
That's Mimi tickling his knee.
Cute little feet!
I noticed that his big toenails were in a triangle shape.
My dad got to see him when the isolette cover was up.
Sunday they tried to back off the CPAP some and he did well. He didn't do well when they turned it off all together, but he wasn't needing quite as much assistance as he had in the beginning. We were encouraged that it didn't look like he'd need additional surfactant treatments and that he was making progress, but Sunday was a tough day because I got discharged that evening and we had to go home without Landen. John happened to be with Landen when they were doing his "care" time. Every 3 hours they would take his temperature, change his diaper, etc. John was so excited because he got to change Landen's diaper!! It was so great to actually be able to DO something for him and not just have to watch him through the isolette.
Showing us his muscles. "I'm strong!"
Monday happened to be Labor Day and it turned out to be the best Labor Day we ever could have imagined. As we walked back to see Landen the first thing that immediately caught my attention was that the machine his CPAP hooked up to was missing. I looked into the isolette and saw this:
John and I were both in total shock! The CPAP was off and he was getting no breathing assistance what-so-ever. They hadn't even mentioned that this was a possibility when we left the night before. We were so happy!! I was crying of course. :) About that time Landen's new nurse Laurie came over and introduced herself. She gave us an update on how he was doing and then asked me a question that literally took my breath away ... she asked me if I wanted to hold him. If only she knew .... One of the hardest parts of the two days before was not being able to hold him. I needed to feel that connection with him. We had walked into the NICU expecting things to pretty much be the same as they had been the night before, and then all of the sudden Landen had made amazing progress and I was moments away from getting to hold him. You all know how much I love Disneyland, but that little corner of the Long Beach Memorial NICU was by far the Happiest Place on Earth that day.
Laurie got Landen wrapped up so he'd be warm and so that his wires wouldn't get too tangled. I put on a gown and got settled. And then she gave him to me:
Once we were settled we were able to just sit there with him and cuddle (and take videos). I had tears streaming down my face off and on the whole time. There was no controlling the hormones or emotional ups and downs!! We were both just so happy!!
After awhile John went out to check his cell phone. It had been buzzing in his pocket almost non-stop. After about 15 minutes I was wondering where he was. I turns out my Grandma and Aunt Lori had driven down to visit and he was helping to get them up to the NICU. It was so awesome that they each got to walk in and see Landen in my arms and not in the isolette. I loved getting to share a bit of our amazing day with them.
After each of them visited a little bit John came back in. At that point Laurie came over and told us it was Landen's care time so he had to go back to his bed. We took his temp and changed his diaper. Landen was opening his eyes a bit so we took some pictures. (Up until then they had been pretty swollen so he couldn't really open them.)
Then Laurie told us they had started to feed formula through a tube down to his tummy and it was time for his next feed. She asked if we wanted to help. Yes!!!!! I told John he could hold him for the feed since I'd been hogging him up until then. We got John settled and then Laurie hooked Landen up to the lavage to pump the formula into his tummy. We tried giving Landen a pacifier as he "ate" to see if he would start sucking. Thankfully he did!! That meant we wouldn't have to teach him how to do that.
The feeding went really well. Landen was tolerating the formula with no problems. Yay!! Each time he had a good feed they would increase the amount a little on the next one, and decrease the amount of IV nurishment he received. Once he was off the IV completely and handling a full feed well, we could start trying to feed him with a bottle.
There are a bunch of little milestones you have to reach with a NICU baby. Landen was passing a bunch of them with flying colors! In fact, he was doing so well that the nurses prepared his "roadmap" home. The roadmap covers the last of the milestones that are necessary before discharge. We were still early in the process but they said that since he was hitting milestones left and right, we'd be needing that roadmap sooner rather than later.
I forgot to mention that one other thing John was excited about is that Landen's head finally looked normal on Monday. It had been kinda pointy from him being stuck in the birth canal so long, and he had a big red bump over his left ear from the vacuum. John had been a bit concerned about his odd shaped head. :)
Monday was such an unbelievably amazing day. It was just what we needed to get our spirits back up. We finally were able to see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel.
When we walked up, there were a bunch of people surrounding his little area. Heather, his nurse, introduced herself to us and started to explain what was going on. She didn't get very far because as soon as we really saw him we could see he was in bad shape and I immediately burst into tears. I tried to get myself together but it was hard. He was having a very hard time breathing. Every time he inhaled, his chest would retract and completely cave in. He was struggling with every single breath. He looked like a fish trying to breathe out of water. It was both terrifying and heartbreaking. Even John teared up and started to cry a little. Heather was great and took her time explaining some of what was going on as well as giving us some info about how things worked in the NICU.
A few minutes later, Landen's neonatologist Dr. Kuniyoshi came over and talked with us. She explained that there is a protein called surfactant that we all have that helps keep the aveoli in our lungs open. Without this, our lungs can't get enough oxygen to the rest of our body. Because Landen's lungs were premature (even more premature than they should have been at 35 weeks), they weren't producing the surfactant his lungs needed. Luckily some very smart people figured out a way to create synthetic surfactant. Dr. Kuniyoshi said that they were going to briefly intubate Landen and then inject surfactant into his lungs. She said that this would help him to breath easier but to be prepared that it may take several treatments before his lungs kick in and start making surfactact on their own.
They were just getting ready to do the procedure when we walked in - that's why there were various people in his area. Dr. Lee came over and talked to us for a minute. We were trying to keep our emotions in check but it was hard. We were scared and seeing Landen so helpless and struggling was like a physical blow to the heart. After a few more minutes we told the doctors we were going to leave so they could do the procedure. It was getting late and it had been a very long day, so we told them we'd be back in the morning to see him.
When we went to see him Saturday morning, Landen looked much better. His chest wasn't caving in nearly as much as it had been the night before. They had placed a CPAP over his nose to pressurize the air going into his lungs. This helped to fill them completely with oxygen. Seeing him hooked up to a bunch of machines and monitors was at little scary but we were so relieved to see that he had improved. We were able to open up the sides of the isolette and touch him and talk to him. I was an emotional mess so I had tears running down my cheeks but I was so happy! We were able to bring our parents back to see him one at a time.
Landen wasn't overly fond of the CPAP strapped on his head. He was still pretty swollen from birth. The tube going into his mouth was used to suction any saliva going down into his tummy. Since he was being fed intravenously they said that the saliva in his empty tummy might give him a stomach ache.
Here's some video of Landen breathing with the CPAP. You can see his chest is still depressing some when he inhales but it's nothing compared to what it had been the night before.
Landen's nurse Kristen gave him this lovey to hold on to because he always managed to grab onto his tube/wires and pull!
Strong grip on John's finger!!
Hi Lolo!
That's Mimi tickling his knee.
Cute little feet!
I noticed that his big toenails were in a triangle shape.
My dad got to see him when the isolette cover was up.
Sunday they tried to back off the CPAP some and he did well. He didn't do well when they turned it off all together, but he wasn't needing quite as much assistance as he had in the beginning. We were encouraged that it didn't look like he'd need additional surfactant treatments and that he was making progress, but Sunday was a tough day because I got discharged that evening and we had to go home without Landen. John happened to be with Landen when they were doing his "care" time. Every 3 hours they would take his temperature, change his diaper, etc. John was so excited because he got to change Landen's diaper!! It was so great to actually be able to DO something for him and not just have to watch him through the isolette.
Showing us his muscles. "I'm strong!"
Monday happened to be Labor Day and it turned out to be the best Labor Day we ever could have imagined. As we walked back to see Landen the first thing that immediately caught my attention was that the machine his CPAP hooked up to was missing. I looked into the isolette and saw this:
John and I were both in total shock! The CPAP was off and he was getting no breathing assistance what-so-ever. They hadn't even mentioned that this was a possibility when we left the night before. We were so happy!! I was crying of course. :) About that time Landen's new nurse Laurie came over and introduced herself. She gave us an update on how he was doing and then asked me a question that literally took my breath away ... she asked me if I wanted to hold him. If only she knew .... One of the hardest parts of the two days before was not being able to hold him. I needed to feel that connection with him. We had walked into the NICU expecting things to pretty much be the same as they had been the night before, and then all of the sudden Landen had made amazing progress and I was moments away from getting to hold him. You all know how much I love Disneyland, but that little corner of the Long Beach Memorial NICU was by far the Happiest Place on Earth that day.
Laurie got Landen wrapped up so he'd be warm and so that his wires wouldn't get too tangled. I put on a gown and got settled. And then she gave him to me:
Once we were settled we were able to just sit there with him and cuddle (and take videos). I had tears streaming down my face off and on the whole time. There was no controlling the hormones or emotional ups and downs!! We were both just so happy!!
After awhile John went out to check his cell phone. It had been buzzing in his pocket almost non-stop. After about 15 minutes I was wondering where he was. I turns out my Grandma and Aunt Lori had driven down to visit and he was helping to get them up to the NICU. It was so awesome that they each got to walk in and see Landen in my arms and not in the isolette. I loved getting to share a bit of our amazing day with them.
After each of them visited a little bit John came back in. At that point Laurie came over and told us it was Landen's care time so he had to go back to his bed. We took his temp and changed his diaper. Landen was opening his eyes a bit so we took some pictures. (Up until then they had been pretty swollen so he couldn't really open them.)
Then Laurie told us they had started to feed formula through a tube down to his tummy and it was time for his next feed. She asked if we wanted to help. Yes!!!!! I told John he could hold him for the feed since I'd been hogging him up until then. We got John settled and then Laurie hooked Landen up to the lavage to pump the formula into his tummy. We tried giving Landen a pacifier as he "ate" to see if he would start sucking. Thankfully he did!! That meant we wouldn't have to teach him how to do that.
The feeding went really well. Landen was tolerating the formula with no problems. Yay!! Each time he had a good feed they would increase the amount a little on the next one, and decrease the amount of IV nurishment he received. Once he was off the IV completely and handling a full feed well, we could start trying to feed him with a bottle.
There are a bunch of little milestones you have to reach with a NICU baby. Landen was passing a bunch of them with flying colors! In fact, he was doing so well that the nurses prepared his "roadmap" home. The roadmap covers the last of the milestones that are necessary before discharge. We were still early in the process but they said that since he was hitting milestones left and right, we'd be needing that roadmap sooner rather than later.
I forgot to mention that one other thing John was excited about is that Landen's head finally looked normal on Monday. It had been kinda pointy from him being stuck in the birth canal so long, and he had a big red bump over his left ear from the vacuum. John had been a bit concerned about his odd shaped head. :)
Monday was such an unbelievably amazing day. It was just what we needed to get our spirits back up. We finally were able to see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel.
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